A letter from November 23rd, 2017

Dear FutureMe, This must be what it feels like to fall for a straight girl. Three months ago, I was so angry. She offered friendship, then left me for dead when I didn't meet her expectations. I'm sure it didn't help that on my redeeming attempt, I showed up wine drunk and passed out on her couch. We both have our issues. It wasn't right to blame her, but it sure felt satisfying. After multiple family functions, she finally hugged me this time. She sat next to me after dinner and every time she got up, she'd brush my shoulder with her hand. A shock of electricity went through me. I'm not supposed to have these feelings...not for her. I know it's nothing for her. Maybe she wasn't really even trying to reestablish familiarity, but just trying to keep the peace. I feel so silly for overreacting about all of this. I wonder if I'll ever get my sexuality fully figured out.