A letter from January 3rd, 2018

Hi nas I’m writing to you again, I don’t know why but this feels like a good diary outlet I guess. I still feel awful. It feels like my insecurities are taking over everything in my life slowly. I just want to apologize for being me all time. More often than not there’s a big lump in my throat. I don’t know why it’s manifesting like this. My heart physically pains and I’m always close to tears but I can’t talk about this stuff with anyone else. I don’t n I ed pity or people to think I’m dramatic. I still feel absent in everyone else’s life and I know it’s my fault and I feel horribly guilty for saying all those things I thought were true about my friends. Honestly there’s no way to tell if it’s true or not and I think that’s why I choose to see the negative instead of having faith and trust in them. I hope the last letter didn’t affect you but I know you and you’re probably still crying or can’t stop thinking about it. Good luck with everything nas. 03-01-18