A letter from February 19th, 2018

Dear FutureMe, You are going to receive this letter sometime in 2021 and as I'm typing this I'm truly terrified that from now til then when I have completely forgotten about you, I receive you and while I read you, I'm sad because I have lost someone important in my life so I want to remind you to love your parents better, be more present, travel to see them more often, be kinder to them and tell them you love them even if you live in different countries. You know they are old and sick and you should stop treating them as they will be here forever because they are not and you know what you don't tell them now you will never tell them. I hope in these next three years you manage to finally be kinder and to love yourself. I think you know that you have never have managed to have a proper relationship because you have never learnt to love yourself. Remember, no one can respect you unless you respect yourself first. I hope you don't give up ever on your blog and keep writing, inspiring others but more than anything, to keep doing something that you truly love. I hope soon, very soon, you forget about Chris who has broken you from the inside with endless lies, insults and abuse. You are far too good for men who only feel strong when they mistreat good women. I really really hope you find a good man to share your live and travels with and more than anything, I hope it happens while your parents are still alive. Mothers worry all the time, your mum really wants you to find love, she knows you feel very lonely and occasionally sad but she says nothing. I hope you have still your good friends like Sandra and that you are always there for each other. A life without good friendships is not a good life. Be more open, go out more, there are so many people out there who are waiting to meet you! No matter what life throws at you, this is a wonderful moment in time to be alive, don't let the ups and downs to convince you otherwise. Travel Montse, keep traveling and discovering the wonderful world. You are doing a good job so far and you must continue it. Now you have a great job that allows you to take small breaks, make the most of it and regardless what happens, life is good. Fuck yes, it it GOOD! As in everything else, well...it is a mystery. As usual, you are reckless and want to go somewhere else so I hope by the time I read this, whatever you decide, you have made good choices and living a live that makes you happy. Whatever other people say, well, I hope you haven't chance in that sense, because you have never cared and I hope you will never do. You dictate your own rules. Lastly, I'm writing this from my little London studio while Daniel downstairs is making noises and driving me crazy. Tomorrow I have to go back to work after my 4 days off. The last week has been horrible as I have broken up finally with Chris and my heart is broken in hundreds of pieces but I know, I just know I will be fine. Ok well...I guess I'll read you in three years time. Stay well, take care of yourself and always be kind to people, you never know what they are going through in their lives.