A letter from April 11th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, Hey girl. If you’re reading this now, you’re 19 years old. Wow, you’re still alive, good job. That means you survived this whole covid19 shit! I don’t know what the future holds, but obviously i know myself better than anyone and I know I tend to romanticize the past so I’m going to explain exactly how I feel right now. It’s been exactly 2 months since Dan and I broke up. I’m still not over him. I’m still hurting. And it hurts even more to know he doesn’t give a shit about me anymore, that he’s not in the same boat. I’m sure when you’re reading this you’ll be long over him and probably fantasizing over someone new (fingers crossed). A lot changes in a year. I currently have no idea whatsoever with what i want to do with my life. I’m not so sure i’m settled at the stony brook either. I hope that wherever you are now, you’re happy. You finally found where you belong. I see it with all my high school friends, they’re all happy in college with their new lives and friends. And i’m still stuck in the past. I’m not settled yet. My recent highlights include me accidentally dying my hair red, going to liu to sleep w j.v. and sleeping with g.g. 💀. YUP, i’m still unadded LMAO. The only thing i’ve currently got going for me is the 13k followers on tik tok. I mean, it’s basically turned into a greys anatomy fan page, but i’m very grateful. I’m on season 14 ep 1 of greys anatomy rn LOL. I wonder if you’ve spoken to Dan, oh god. And if you’re still friends with sarah julia faye liz and isabella. They’re my best friends and the only ones keeping me sane rn. This quarantine has me going nuts. I miss last summer and i miss how good my life was. I cant believe i ruined it all for daniel cattani, i cant believe i FREAKING TRANSFERRED FROM OSU FOR HIM. stupid. STUPID. i just hope you’re happy. when u read this, if you can say you’re happy, then THANK GOD that’s all i want. Here goes a year.