A letter from April 19th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, I am just now realizing how afraid I am to grow. Fear is a physical, mental restraint that prevents me from taking action in my life. It has not served me but inhibited me. Today is April 19th, 2020 and there is only so much online entertainment before one is forced to reflect within themselves. I realize that when I look into the future a growing weight of anxiety tightens my chest and causes my heart to pound. Fear constrains my ambitions. Negative thoughts batter my hopes into the deep recesses of my mind. I wonder now, who am I when I adopt courage instead, embrace it. What beautiful thoughts would come into fruition if I only listened? What if instead I followed their lead? Would they spur me into action? I have the feeling the answer is yes. Alicia, I want you to go on your trip to Belize. You probably have right to be afraid.. but I know you want this. I know you aspire to more within you. I know at this very moment you feel too afraid to venture into your mind, too cautious to hope, but you must. Choose the pains of discipline and not the pain of regret. Do it your way. When the final curtains close and you look back on life, I want you to be able to do so with a smile on your face an take pride in the fact that you did your very best. As a girl in the midst of a breakup trust me, that is the wisest advice you can take. You will never regret showing up for yourself. Go on that trip, learn more about yourself. Make new friends, the kind that inspire and bring out the best in you. Love with an open heart when the time comes. Be brave enough to take action. Believe that you ARE in fact, good enough. With love, Alicia