A letter from May 6th, 2020

Dear Future Rachel, Hey, so today’s Cinco de Mayo 2020. The world is grappling with the Coronavirus and honestly nobody knows what’s going to happen in the future. The college admissions process has been absolutely upended, and people’s lives have been turned upside-down. So right now, you’re kind of in a predicament. Last fall, you were accepted (with a significant scholarship, mind you) to a private, competitive, 4-year liberal arts college in the Midwest of the United States--thousands of miles away from home. Took guts to accept. This victory came after a significant loss in our lives, resulting in a grief I’m still not sure we’re completely over. Anyways, you were nominated by one of the most life-changing orgs in the city to go through a competitive process to get a leadership scholarship. I remember the anxiety of the in-person interviews, the sense that I belonged but didn’t belong somehow (imposter syndrome), the elation at being named a finalist, and the utter, cold defeat of not getting the scholarship for your top choice. Be glad you didn’t get into your first choice because, girl, you met one of the greatest professors and human beings at this four-year institution. You’ve met people from all over the states AND all over the world. You’ve learned more about the relative privilege you have in this society. You’ve also seen the injustices and learned about different perspectives in off-hand conversations. You’ve also endured childhood bullying and teasing, but came out of it stronger in the end. You’ve jumped off a ten-foot rock into the Hudson River and hiked over 8 miles in a day. You’ve survived mental health and personal crises. You’re strong, and it doesn’t matter if they (the elite institutions) don’t see that. You know this. You’ve made mistakes, many of which you aren’t proud of. But girl, we’re all human. Just make better choices in the future. Just remember to always be kind to yourself, physically and mentally. We only have one body and health is important above all else. Sometimes life throws us curve-balls. The virus is one of them. The situation with my dad is one of them. I’m not confident that I can return to campus next year. Not only is it too far from home for comfort due to the fact that you have asthma, but you can’t bear to leave dad and mom. I get it, and I don’t blame you for that. So… as of now your goal is to earn general ed transfer credits (and hopefully an associates in Poli Sci plus a certificate in African & Middle Eastern Studies). Why give up pursuit of an English degree? You’re a writer, no matter what title you hold. Writing is a vocation, not a career. You’ll make your mark on the literary zeitgeist no matter what career you choose. *Mark* my words. (Ha, I couldn’t resist.) There are so many factors at play, like the virus, mom, dad, if we move, if I can get into the classes I want at CC. All of these are out of our control. I’ve been feeling really stressed and anxious to the point that I can’t eat a lot and I don’t get a lot of sleep. I’m working on re-centering and finding my balance. I have many more emails to write in the coming weeks, but hey, as they say: Rome wasn’t built in a day. In the future, I anticipate that by now you’ve received offers of admission from colleges, if the admissions system isn’t in total upheaval. Know that I’m proud of you for sticking it through, no matter what they say. Remember what you learned in Deca. Comparison is the thief of joy. Also, it’s not the institution that makes the student, but the student that makes the institution. Finish strong and enjoy the journey! If you’re still in for another year, I know it’s not ideal but go forth. *looks you dead in the eyes* You can do it. You’ve come so far and you’ve learned so much. You want to make a positive difference when theis Corona business is over, don’t ya? Oh, and Happy Birthday by the way! LMAO we’re 20. Yer gettin old XD Sincerely, Me (a.k.a. You From The Past) P.S. Yes that was a Dear Evan Hansen reference. No, I haven’t heard it yes. (IKR fake fan :P)