feeling...

Peaceful right?

feeling... sharp. dangerous. full of attitude. which, I guess, is just what a girl about to go to college ought to feel like. When you, future Anna, get this, it'll be ten years from now, and the passport that you got today will have expired. How was going to school in another country? Was it far enough away from your parents? What prompted past-you to write this (besides the fact that the trusty sketchbook/journal has gone missing) is the fact that, among all of the suitcases you were looking for in the attic today, you also found a hefty dose of family history. History from 1840. A picture of the family goat. Hand drawn sketches of the cottage. Letters back and forth between two feuding families. One family claims its daughter was starved to death whilst visiting the other. The other family is outraged because of a false arrest upon an unfounded accusation of THEIR daughter being a member of a house of prostitution. All insults and accusations in flowery, minute, faint 1840's penmanship, of course. I don't even know what the point of this email is. I just think it's weird that on the eve of your departure to distance yourself from your family, just when you're feeling incredibly independent, the attic delivers. Now, past-you wants to stay connected, be Bess's great great great great granddaughter, add her own tale to the many family stories. Past-you wants to stay in the attic forever, reading the family history. But I guess that's why college is good. So you can get the hell out of that attic and this house and make your own history. Go on.

Epilogue

3 days later

Ten years ago, I was a senior in high school aching to go to college as far away from home as possible. I wanted to see other countries and make...

Ym soresit onw. Etlf eofphlu ot nad aveel vyntgeierh atht veen dite — sa t,i ok ndnleap i emoh ntmoaumlen aws to tub letf i. Pngonie ym ruufet nsgtmehio keil up em robefe on wigsn aws. .
.
Ediwp anc oru ohw het awya rzcay anig,a ownd nwko socle oyu ahw?t adn btu can ’its miteeossm sievl be uftreu. Ixs itsh ago hte sarye eednlar tub ll,ew neloss etirnwt etafr nkosw uhhtorg i hmtson htat has thta, efbero bouat lelw lteert dvile etn owh erptyt asw 0220 eonyan. I rebtroh thiw nad aws ecncra — my dasoiedng.
.
Ghrti ,asy ts’tah heret otmsla ot geuhon. Nteh i huhgot cohem wiht the syera nktiga a oglcele luealynvte got i adn hiwt hmi ltcyapi efw in veen to nveer ifednshi rfate cepeinreex, teh end ffo pehl eb. In lhwie ’id if elfs eb apphy ,lcgloee i be i my eeglolc nerve areetgn--oya itdnatgne to og mkea odtl orheatn ttha ot leeclog or ddatatevse emismo,re cltpaiy gto or evne ,utcnoyr. Fo masroouhp of -poceolelegh pemoardc itnhogn eth loss ubt sslo own the ym is wnok i htrebor ot smoe hatt.
.
Olok osrnep efsl ytlloemepc oemesmsti ofrm cbka reh a 81 aeyr i my dan keil ftrefndie old elef i at. Utb i eitm lalperal a ituedos iimgnea eistnxgi her enth sunirvee, roshemeew ni of. Htta shti rttas in rleett efil aayw her gitnnwa tsgitin dan s’hse ot ether toaub get adn ,wrdol wirngit. And tignsit hotegter onwd kngami akswl dna iotn iggno r’betsroh on and rfo rfool fndrise she’s dna kiglant y’htere ,moor won nda ta,r eth oceikos tjsu dna csium rgiadnwne lganhgui nad nthe rhe nda auotb. Ahev sr,aey lwil lignkat to file ldoh hetm eb ot htta htero eno adesrm rstaemt agreilzni go oatbu hyte lkie hte day eon htta oynl gaklnti hwo noen otuba olok of it n,ow ietm roem awth tethegor smeimero dya htgri ot psndgine ent ngeo to slti,hg tehonnrr teh het nto liwl tnha nwta no hey’etr iacenld see dna noe ni to fo dan lliw. Eh ebst rfeidn saw my.