A letter from October 10th, 2012

Dear FutureMe, It's a very tough time for you right now, but I bet it's better by now. Right now you're thinking that you're only option for survival is the military, or selling your body (to which you never thought you'd go down that road again). Whatever options you take, don't be so down on yourself. You're not a failure. 5 years from now is a very scary thing to think about. You almost think you wont exist, or that nothing ever matters because that's too far ahead. Your future is all you have, and the only thing stopping you from killing yourself is hope. Hope that the future will be much better than the present. That's all we can hope for, can't we? Your school loans are 1400 dollars a month, for a useless degree in a field that you've strived your who life to achieve. You've moved across the country twice in two years, only to come back to your moms house and work a dead end job (probably, hasn't happened yet). You're STILL not a failure. You're just taking a break from your dream to take on your responsibilities, unlike everyone you know. No matter what happens, if by now you're not back from your responsibilities and tackling your dream again, better start now. You'll be 27 or so by the time this email reaches you again. Young enough to get back into the game again, if not for the very last time. A reminder of what is happening right now. You're in love with Meghan McCully and your favorite band of right now is The Fitz and the Tantrums, have a listen to them if you get a chance. You're living in Los Angeles still, with Steven and Marissa in the next room watching Supernatural. Drew is asleep. If you have fallen away from them over the years, get back in touch with them. Give them a shout and tell them thank you for all the things they've done. You're a cynic, but you have an ENORMOUS heart. Sometimes it doesn't hurt for people to see it. You weigh 117 pounds (if by now you're not 130-ish, I'll be very disappointed.) You're still hurt over Andrea's wedding to that fucker, Chris. If they're divorced, by now you know that I won the bet. Call Barbara and tell her you love her, if she's still with us. That woman has given you and your mom everything, and if you haven't called her lately, call her RIGHT NOW. Don't read another line. Call her now. I'll wait. --waiting--- Whatever you've done since, it doesn't matter. As long as you're alive and surrounded by love, they were the right choices, and your mistakes were only research into bettering yourself. Whoever you're with, whatever you're doing, and whatever you're hoping to do, know that I believe in you and know you'll do me proud. Hopefully you'll do better with my life than I've done with mine. Chin up, by the way. You tend to be too much of a downer.