A letter from March 29th, 2016

Dear FutureMe, I hope things are going better for you now than when this was written. I want you to remember the trials and tribulations that you have endured this past month. I hope this helps you realize that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how dark it appears at the time. Remember the way dad was the morning, not the evening, of his passing. Do not forget about the jokes he told when you walked into the room with the foot spa for him to soak his feet. I hope you can recall the happiness in his voice and the smile he had throughout that morning. Never forget his smile. By now I hope you have forgiven yourself for not stopping him from drinking his juice from a straw. As I write this, I cannot get the expression he had when he choked on the juice and aspirated. The awful shade of gray his skin turned while he was having a seizure because of the lack of oxygen. Be forever grateful that he recovered long enough that all of his kids and grandkids could make it to the house before he passed. Watching him gasp for every breath was the longest seven hours of your life. I hope by now you have learned to deal with the pain and emptiness you felt. Always remember that even when he was struggling to breathe that afternoon, he made sure to tell each and every one of us that he loved us. Dad always put family first and I hope you try to follow more in his footsteps. Forgive your sister if you haven't already. If dad could look past what she did you should be able to do the same. I'd like to remind you of how great your husband and kids were through those dark days. The patience and strength that they had for you was amazing. It has been five years, so I'm sure you have gotten another dog by now. When you think about Nikki, remember the great times you had with her and what a special dog she was. She was by your side for fifteen and a half years and one of your best friends through the good times and the bad. Her dying mere weeks after dad was heartbreaking but hopefully you keep pushing through. I hope your current dog is as smart and loving as Nik-Nack. By now, you have graduated and have become a registered nurse. Always remember to have compassion and patience with the people you come across. Steven hopefully is following his dream and is living back in Florida. Robert should be well on his way to developing one of the latest and greatest video games. Remind them often how much you love them. Always make time for Kevin and the boys. Forgive your sister for making a mess of dad's affairs at the end. While I'm writing this, forgiveness seems so far away but it is what dad would want. Keep your head held high and keep pushing through. Take care of yourself, Me