A letter from October 20th, 2016

Dear FutureMe, Wow. A year ago today you overdosed on your painkillers. You tried to take your life. Can you believe you made it through a year? I'm just here to remind you that you're not alone. So many people love you, I love you. Self love is the most important part of life, you can't spell life without I, after all. Right now as I write this, 10 days after my suicide attempt, I feel almost at peace. It's as if I was a deep dark well, being filled with water, brimming to the edges. That attempt was the overflow, the tension breaking. My next step, after letting go, is letting people in. It's okay for people to bring buckets and share parts of me. I can't push people away forever. My emotions, my water, can help them. And them leaving with buckets full will stop me overflowing. It's a messy extended metaphor, but it best describes life. Life isn't consice all the time, it doesn't fit into a small box. You're a sassy mother ****** so own it, You xxx