A letter from October 24th, 2016

Dear FutureMe, how are you? Are you happy with your life right now? Do you work anywhere? Are you married? To who? Ahh, so many question I wanna ask you. I'm curious about everything. But however, I hope you're well and happy with whatever kind of life you lived right now. As long as you're happy then everything will be fine. Before I go further, I wanna wish a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you.. Congratulations on turning 30. Don't worry you're not old yet. 30 is just a number. I bet you're still have a young heart like me, like us 10 years ago. As long as you're maintaining your health, then you're young. I bet your style doesn't change a lot as well, doesn't it? I guess if you're still not wearing hijab, then you must be still like wearing a jeans and a t-shirt, don't you? hahahaha~ I know you so well! So, this email is a gift from me. A gift from your younger version. So, I'm your 25 years old version. I hope you remember me. I hope you remember the good version of me, not a bad one. Hahaha~ Do you still like to dance? I hope you do, because right now I'm so into dance and like to make a bunch of dance cover videos. I hope it's good, so I won't embarrassed you. Just so you know, I'm happy with my life right now. Though I'm still jobless and always wandering around. To be honest, I'm not afraid of being jobless forever. I'm just afraid of 2 things right now. That is if I can't be grateful for what I have and can't make my mother happy.. So I hope you're feeling grateful for whatever you have at that time and have been able to make our mother happy. What are you doing right now? Is our big and little families alright? I hope we're not losing someone close to us in this 5 years. I hope everyone's alright, live a healthy and good life. How about Mom? Is she doing okay? Is she healthy? Please make sure she doesn't get sick or too tired. Keep an eye of her dietary habit. Make sure her cholesterol is normal. I hope she's not having a hard time and happy with her life no matter what. I hope you already found a nice permanent home with her and Tita. I hope you're not still living in this official residence that made our mother having a hard time facing other people, especially her co-worker. To be honest, the one thing which make me feeling really sad right now is my disability to help our mom financially. I still can't help her buying a house. But I hope you can. Don't be sad if you don't, because I'm sure you did your best. I beg you, whatever happen you won't leave her or disappoint her in any way. You know she loves her children no matter what and we just can't live without her. :) Okay, stop crying, now I wanna ask about Tita. Is she doing alright? I guess she's in college right now, right? Does she still often annoyed you? Did she succeed to be a Praja? Just so you know, she's so smart until now, though she's a lil' bit naughty and lazy. But I love her no matter what. Please, keep protecting her in the future. Please make sure she gets a good and bright future. And don't forget to make sure that she know you love her. :) Okay, now how about our father? I won't ask many question about him because somehow right now I'm not in a good condition with him. I hope you understand and forgive me for that. I just hope he's doing well and kind to our mom. Then how about our grandparents? They're alive and healthy, right? Does grandma still having pain with her bone? How about our grandpa's heart disease? I hope they're okay. Okay now I wanna move on to your love life. How about it? Do you have any boyfriend or husband maybe? I don't know why, but I sincerely hope you're married by now. And even have a kid. Doesn't matter if it's a daughter or a son. hahahaha~ I have a high expectation of you, you know. But in the end, as I said earlier in this letter, I just hope you're happy no matter what. As long as you're happy, then everything will be fine. Whether you're married or still single. I trust your judgement and decision. For me personally, right now I'm still stuck with someone. Someone we love/like from a long time ago. From our first year of college. Remember? I'm not sure if you remember it, but I think you know him very well. And you know what? Today is the day that I tell him everything about our feeling through email. I send it through an app called boomerang, so the email will be arrived at his email address in new year, 2017 new year. I sent him a proper goodbye. I don't know what will happen then. I'm a lil' bit afraid about the outcome, but I think I have to do it anyway. It's for the sake of our future. Because I think it will be affecting you as well. But I hope you won't thinking about it too much. It's just a past anyway. If there's any chance that you're end up with him, then I'm so happy, very very very happy for you. You know you deserved it! Anyway, like I always said, I just hope you're happy with your life. Please don't forget to always be grateful for what you have. Keep Allah close to your heart. Don't ever forget to pray. And be yourself. Do what you wanna do. Always be kind to people. Love your parents, your lil' sister, your big family, your bestfriend, your loving person, UNCONDITIONALLY. Don't ever take them for granted. :) You're good as you are, so don't ever be jealous with other people's life. YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU! Have a great and fabulous life, dear future me! X.O.X.O