A letter from December 3rd, 2017

Dear FutureMe, 12/3/17 you're writing this with tears in your eyes, along with the intense urge to sink a steak knife deep into your skin. The shadow of your optimistic self, that existed before the chemicals in your brain decided to imprison you, is telling you to write this, just so you can look back on it years from now and ever wonder how you were once so sad. Hopefully she's right. Hopefully you're now looking at this with happy tears because you overcame and you prospered and you can not even remember how feeling so low felt. Maybe you were being dramatic. How'd NUR402 turn out? Are you a nurse? Was all of this worth it? Right now it doesn't feel like it. 5 mental breakdowns, a panic attack (that was new lol), and a whole 4 month streak of depression along with the feeling of absolute emptiness in a semester was a new record for you. God, I hope everything fell into place. I really really really realllly hope you're actually happy now too. Please be happy. Please please please be happy. Sincerely, me