A letter from April 8th, 2018

Dear FutureMe, You are 3 years older now. Your 27th birthday is in 2 months. I hope and wish with all my heart that your dream of being happy has come true. Due to the recent break up of mine, i have gone into a state of depression..people say that it's for the better, it was probably not meant to be ,that he was a jerk to have left me so as to fulfill his desire of becoming a musician...but i have been trying to find meaning in all of this, why would i have to go through this when i somehow finally managed to fall in love after 3 years of being in the relationship..what hurts the most is he was my best friend and i thought he was the constant in my life and no matter what, he could never hurt me. But here i am, 3 months after the break up, still wishing to somehow end up with him.But deep down i know he is happier now, i know he blames me for a lot of things, i am trying to count my mistakes and learn from them. I don't know what to wish for him, unhappiness, loneliness, success or regret. I just know i will choke to death if i continue feeling like this. I hope you are over that now, i hope you can validate the saying that whatever happens happens for the good. Your parents are probably looking for a groom now..you are probably still in shock that an arranged marriage is what life had in store for you, i know it's scary..but just have an open heart, and believe that this partner of yours will not leave you alone in this big fat unkind world..maybe he will settle and so will you..but one thing that you will share is commitment. Try to share a friendship too. Make me proud. The job i am in right now is pretty unfulfilling, the monthly reporting has been handed over to me, oh how i hate it.I am thinking of doing something better with my life, just don't know what yet. Dad is continuously asking me to pursue a degree abroad, but not sure if that's what i want...but i am thinking of going with what he says, i mean he has never been wrong. So did you? Did you crack the test, did u pursue an MS? Did you travel to a different country? Or have you finally found a different direction to your life? Do you have answers to my questions now? Was 3 years enough for you to figure out your life, your direction, your purpose? Most importantly, are you happy? are you making others happy? I hope you are still not in Noida, well i know you are not...Pune may be? I hope life has been better, i hope you have been better to others, i hope you are better.