A letter from May 13th, 2018

Dear Ronny, Yesterday was our senior prom. There was a face in the crowd that I never got to see and it was yours. Decorations in our high school meant that all of the cases with trophies and pictures were covered up. They covered up your picture on the one night I needed it most. I know I say this too much, but not a day goes by that I don't think about you and the things that you have missed since your passing. It feels like people are moving on, but I'm in this haze of sadness and regret that no one else can see. I wish we didn't drift apart this year. I know that it wouldn't have changed anything, but at least I would have more memories of you. Now I'm stuck in the past while trying to get through the present. As time goes by, things change, and people start to move on, but if that means leaving you in the past, I don't think I can do that just yet. For the future me reading this in a few years, and those who see it anonymously, I'm sorry it's heavy, but it's what I'm feeling. If they didn't remove Ronny's email, it would stay between me and them. Some part of me wants people to know what grief feels like and that some of us suffer differently than others. Silence is a killer that writing can help cure.